When I was just a little monkey of six or seven, I would play the alphabet game with my siblings on long car rides. For those of you unfamiliar with this game, the object is to find every letter of the alphabet – in the correct sequence, mind you – using the words on billboards and street signs. In addition to assuring I could differentiate between “b” and “d” and encouraging healthy sibling rivalry, the alphabet game is at least partially responsible for the irrational satisfaction I still feel when I spot a spelling error or grammatical mistake in any text. I shake my head and smile, for example, every time I drive through road construction in Michigan, not because I am happy to see my tax dollars at work, but because I think the orange “END ROAD CONSTRUCTION” signs are hilarious. End road construction? Are we protesting the construction here? Am I being ordered to aid in stopping the construction madness? Oh, wait… I think what’s meant is the “road construction ends” here.

This wandering introduction is my long-winded way of saying that I notice street signs. I can’t help it; I’ve spent too many hours watching each sign fly past my window, hoping for an “Antiques! Turn right at Webberville exit!” (Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-and X!) sign. My favorite street signs to date, however, have all been found in Ireland. Even more surprising, my favorite street signs to date don’t even have words. These signs must have been designed at the same time, by an artist with an usual – and somewhat violent – sense of humor. Take, for example, this “CAUTION CHILDREN” sign:

SignChildren

That kid, unfortunately, is toast. I enjoy these signs because they leave so little to the imagination; looking at that sign, I know that if I play in the road, I will get hit. Here’s another, quite vividly illustrating what would happen should one drive off the road and into the Irish Sea:

signcar

Dark, isn’t it? While studying in Dublin in 2006, I found a delightful pair of signs warning about the underwater rocks near the James Joyce Tower:

SignRocks

And just last weekend, I saw a similar sign at a beach near Dingle. A tourist might be tempted to ask: “I could follow this road down to the beach, but that’d take so long. Is there another way down?” Well, tourist, here’s the sign for you:

KerryCliffSign

This sign’s especially great because it isn’t really clear if the tourist should or should not jump. “I don’t understand,” my imaginary tourist sighs and (hopefully) continues down the path.

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